So long… For Now

I’ve kept this blog for 7 months as part of a program I’ve been taking through McMaster University. I have really enjoyed blogging  but, as my class comes to an end, so too does this blog. I’ll be taking another class in the summer and, with work, school, and home life, I don’t think I can commit to regular posts, at least not any worth reading.

Who knows, though? Maybe after a month or two, I’ll feel like chatting again.

For now, I am going to focus on crossing a few more things off my 40 before 40 list and I’m also feeling the urge to sign up for another half marathon… We’ll see!

I truly, truly appreciate you following along and reading this little blog of mine. Your comments made this project feel like fun, instead  of just work.

Until we meet again here, you can find me on Twitter or Instagram if you feel so inclined!

XO Claire

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Two Years of Oakville Claire

You might not know this about me, but I’ve lived in a few different cities because of my husband’s work. And, in a few days, it will be two years since we moved from Edmonton to Oakville.

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I was going to write a post about my feelings on moving (okay, another post: others here, here) but then I read this post and it was like someone had written the post I wanted to write, only it is funnier and less whiney than the one I would have actually written. When you are reading it, just replace “New York” with “Edmonton” (you’re going to have to use a little imagination here, okay?) and replace “Moscow” with “Oakville”.

I’m still mourning Edmonton Claire but reading this post gave me a little pep talk.

Oakville Claire doesn’t have to be a such a downer.

Oakville Claire can be great.

 

An Interesting TED Talk

My friend, Suzy, passed this TED talk onto me and I almost cried watching it. I’m grateful and incredibly privileged to live in Canada, where I received twelve months leave.

I spent the first 8 weeks of my daughter’s life struggling with breastfeeding issues, postpartum depression and a c-section recovery. I cannot imagine if I also had the pressure of returning to work. I can guarantee I would have given up on breastfeeding and I’m certain it would have also taken me longer to bond to my daughter.

Having a baby should not be treated like a quick “blip”in ones life. It is life-altering, physically, emotionally and mentally. I truly empathize with those women who have to return before they are ready. It’s heartbreaking.

Where are you from and how long of a leave did you have? Would love to know!

Booked!

After much indecision on where to go on vacation this year, we decided we just wanted a relaxing, don’t-have-to-think-about-anything kind of trip. So, we booked a week in Jamaica! We leave in April and I could not be more excited. Love having something to look forward to…

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Lately

 

All my “guilt” issues seem to be a reoccurring theme on this blog, but being a family with two working parents can come with its complexities. Here’s my lately:

Friday

Reid wakes up and says he doesn’t feel well. I panic. I have work! I have meetings! I am busy! I find this sickness to be inconvenient. I keep saying hopeful things like, “Maybe you’ll feel better after you eat something!” until Reid proceeds to actually get sick. I realize he definitely won’t be going to school. This is bad.

My husband and I proceed to negotiate on how we are going to cover the day, which results in Paul working from home in the morning and me working from home in the afternoon. Hooray for teamwork!

Saturday

Reid is feeling better so Paul and I decide to take the kids and overnight in Toronto for a fun family weekend. The visit had some highs (a trip to the aquarium) and some lows (Ramona making a bit of a “scene” in a restaurant), but nonetheless we had a great time.

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P.S. The new Delta is really nice.

Sunday

After getting home from Toronto, I take the kids to the playground to take advantage of the mild weather. Reid proceeds to jump off the playground structure a few times until we lands on his foot funny. He can’t walk. Once again, I begin to panic. After we get home, I take him to the emergency room. We wait three hours, get X-rays, but are told nothing is broken (hooray!) and that after a good night’s sleep all will be well in the morning (phew!).

But nobody proceeds to get any sleep that night because Reid makes it known his foot hurts. Side note: I really do not do well when I have not slept.

Monday

Reid can’t put pressure on his foot. I panic. I have work! I have meetings! I am busy! My husband saves the day by staying home with him.

That evening, I take him to the walk-in clinic for some advice on how to proceed. I ask if there’s something we can put on his foot because “we are two working parents who can’t stay home with him infinitely”. She gives me a look like, “Lady, it’s part of the job” but tells me it’s not broken and likely just sore. “Another good nights sleep and it should be fine!”

I feel a tentative sense of relief.

Tuesday

I wake Reid up. “Time to try putting pressure on your foot! The doctor said you’d be good as new today!”, I say enthusiastically. Reid starts wailing and refuses to try. I lose my cool, to put it nicely. “REID, I NEED TO GO TO WORK AND SO YOU NEED TO TRY!”. He continues to refuse and I have to walk away.

My husband takes over the negotiation and eventually Reid walks (albeit with a bit of a limp). I think Reid may be exaggerating his injury and the limp. I take him to school.

Later that day, I come home from work to a message that the radiologist has now reviewed the results and she sees that he has a fractured baby toe (bad). No cast need and it will heal on its own (good).

Then I feel so bad! Bad because I hate that I think of my children’s sickness as a total inconvenience. Bad that I feel more sympathy for myself and the fact that we have nobody to help us when the kids are sick, rather than feeling sympathy for my poor, sick child. Bad that I shuffle them off to childcare before they are probably ready to go back. All in the name of work.

Maybe it comes with the territory of working mom, but dammit if it doesn’t feel really shitty sometimes.

*End* Long-winded story about my mom guilt.

 

What Do You Outsource?

A couple of months ago, I got a cleaner. I did this for a few different reasons:

(1) We are two working parents with two active children. I wanted needed something on our plate to go.

(2) Life was feeling so mundane: Work. Make dinner. Sleep. Repeat. Spend weekend getting groceries and running errands. I wanted to free up some time for some “fun” somewhere along the way.

(3) Cleaning did not qualify as fun.

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But, honestly, for the past few months I’ve just felt so guilty about paying somebody to do something I’m fully capable of doing.

I worry I’m wasting money. I worry I’m being lazy. I worry that I could do a better job anyways.

I’m thinking of cancelling the service just so I can stop feeling so damn guilty.

So, my question is: As a family, is there anything you outsource?

I’m thinking I’d feel less guilty about the money if I outsourced something I hate and am terrible at, like gardening…