So, I’ve been searching for a job. And it’s been hard.
See, my family and I moved across the country when I was 7 months pregnant for a career opportunity for my husband. That meant leaving my job behind (amongst other things).
The move was hard on me- harder than I had anticipated- and, while it’s hard for me to put into words, I think I essentially experienced the five stages of loss in grieving for my “old life”. Now days, or most days, I’m fairly certain I’ve made it to the acceptance stage but I’ve always had this feeling of guilt that “just being with my family” should have been or be enough… but somehow isn’t.
All of this is a lot of preamble to tell you that I’ve had to look for ways to keep myself feeling positive. To feel like I’m on the right path and that moving across the country was the right thing.
One thing I do regularly to spoon-feed myself some positivity is listen to inspirational podcasts or TED Talks. Yesterday, I decided to give Elizabeth Gilbert’s new podcast, Magic Lessons a try. In the first episode, she provides a mom who wants to write a book with some advice and gives her with this quote:
“I think of writing simply in terms of pleasure. It’s the most important thing in my life, making things. Much as I love my husband and my children, I can love them only because I am the person who makes these things. I, who I am, is the person who has the project of making a thing. And because that person does that, all the time, that person able to love all these people.” – A.S. Byatt
Cue the Oprah aha moment.
I am who I am because of the things I do and, well, when you aren’t doing them, you aren’t quite yourself. So, yeah, everything I’m feeling makes sense and, most of all, it’s okay. I need all the other things in my life to feel whole so the only option is to continue to vehemently strive for them.
So, I’m going to keep trucking along- in my job hunt, in my studies, in my running and, now, in this new-to-me blog. Because, as Cheryl Strayed said in the second episode, “I fully believe that one of the greatest gifts I’ve given my children is the example of a mother who pursues her passions like a motherf***er”. Truth.
P.S. Speaking of Elizabeth Gilbert, one of my favorite TED Talks was Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Your Elusive Creative Genuis”. If you haven’t heard it, you should. It’s funny, it’s poignant and it’s smart. Honestly, it’s terrific.
P.P.S. All my posts won’t be this introspective. Promise.
P.P.P.S. Do you have a favourite quote that keeps you together when the going seems tough? I’d love to hear it. Share in the comments.
Header image via Flickr